A Big Head and a Redhead Walk Into a Bar, Err, Sporting Park

Gail Oskin

Taylor Twellman has an amusing anecdote from the All Star Game.

Taylor Twellman, Mr. Tim Cahill is Only Useful For Goals, had something of an amusing anecdote from the All Star Game involving him, Don Garber and Red Bull Head of Global Soccer Gerard Houllier.

If my headline makes it sound like a lame joke, it's because that's how Twellman and ESPNFC's Marc Connolly told it on the last episode of ESPN's Big Head Red Head podcast.

I'll let Twellman and Connolly do the talking...

Twellman: [B]efore we get into some news bout some new United States Men's National team player signing in Seattle, I figured you guys could use a good, I don't know self-deprecating story about myself. So we're at the All Star Game. Mark Connolly, this was your idea, so what was your highlight of Kansas City during the All Star Game?

Connolly: Half the fun of all star weekend even though it was during the week is some of the people you see that you don't normally see out on the MLS beat.

Taylor is somebody you want to be around during an All Star Game. He knows everybody, he's got people coming up to him all the time. Whether he knows them or not, he's very good at making them feel like he knows them. In this case he's talking to Don Garber -- who, by the way, looking great, lost weight, looks like he's running these days -- you were sharing a word with the commissioner. I'm sitting there, I see this old man, who looks like he could've been in The Hobbit, with his grey, kind of rumbled suit, his mouth is open. He kind like stumbles over to Taylor, interrupts the commissioner and is like "I need then number for (AS Roma coach) Rudi Garcia." I kind of catch eyes with you and whoever else I was with we're kind of laughing. Taylor graciously --doesn't know who he's talking to -- says "Yeah, I can help you out," he pulls out a number. The guy's a close talker, he's standing a little too close.

Twellman: And horrible breath, by the way. Horrible breath.

Connolly: You can just smell the musk coming off his old grey suit. He looks like a character from like Scooby Doo. Anyway, Taylor exchanges numbers with Taylor and he gives out a lot of information you probably shouldn't give out to somebody who's really a stranger. So the guy walks away and Taylor looks at me and laughs, "I don't know who the heck that was."

A minute later I see Taylor over and talking to your new best friend, Tim Cahill. A lot of bro hugs going on with him and Tim Cahill. Former nemesis there.

Twellman: We shake hands. He reminds me he has six goals, four of them game winners and I said yeah i know you're not a goal scorer just like every Red bulls fan told me.

Connolly: Your eyes light up and I see you come running back and you say "You know who that old man is? Gerard Houllier." Of course, former Liverpool an France manager and somebody that nearly ran the show for the Untied States. If all the rumors are true from 2006, Sunil Gulati almost gave the keys to the car to Houllier. this was this old man who we were disgusted by a minute ago. that was my favorite story of the weekend.

Twellman: Hysterical. Don Garber, he sees me at the all star game the next day. He's like, "Gerard Houllier, you got it., Taylor?" Yeah, right, thanks Don.

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