Libraries. Silent movies. Sneaking to the fridge for a late night snack. All of these things, particularly the last one, make more noise than the New York Red Bulls since exiting the MLS Playoffs back in November with a loss to the Los Angeles Galaxy.

While it's flattering to have so many rumors swirling around New York players departing on loan or permanent transfers, not much has been coming out of Harrison on incoming players except for a recent find in a Swedish newspaper on a possible new central defender. The Red Bulls completely cleaned house after the MLS re-entry draft and since then have only officially announced the signing of a single homegrown player, defender Connor Lade, bringing their listed roster to a grand total of twenty players (out of a possible thirty). So here at Once a Metro, we took a closer look around the league to see how the Red Bulls measure up to other clubs in terms of their roster spots left to fill.

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It's that time of year again! Break out your aluminum poles, get ready to air some grievances, warm up for the feats of strength -- and there may even be a Festivus miracle.

The Festivus Pole(s)

This year's Festivus Pole goes to Juan Agudelo, for hitting the woodwork twice against Philadelphia back in April.

Here's the first. And the second. Not the best day (in terms of end product) for The Great Hope of American soccer. This game was in some ways a reflection of his season -- he is undoubtedly talented, but no one can be sure whether he will be able to fix the many problems with his game and fulfill his potential: becoming the first top-level striker that the United States has produced. He's at a tipping point, and the difference between being the next Clint Dempsey (or better) and the next Freddy Adu is both as small and as large as a few inches on a crossbar or post.

The Airing of Grievances

Mehdi Ballouchy, Brian Nielsen, Rafa Márquez, and Greg Sutton: you have all disappointed me greatly over the past year.

Mehdi, your languid playing style is frequently mistaken (read: is not mistaken) for a lack of commitment on your part to the Red Bulls' cause. Start running, either on the pitch, or to another team.

Brian, get fit or go back to Denmark.

Rafa, I have nothing to say to you. Stand in that corner until your contract is up.

Greg, best of luck in Montreal. You need it.

Honorable mention to Tim Ream for falling off a cliff after the first seven games.

[I'm keeping Backe and Solér out to prevent any further gnashing of teeth over whether or not they should stay -- they are staying.]

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To go along with your fake team?

Let's take a minute off from playoff stress to have a laugh at America's favorite soccer brand that likes to masquerade as our "crosstown rival." The same "crosstown rival" that looks fondly back on a blackout in the midst of looting, vandalism, economic uncertainty, and a serial killer with t-shirts and stuff. But it was cool, man. You just had to be there.

But anyway, if you're an Xbox Live user and are looking for ways to spiff up your avatar, look no further than this white Cosmos graphic tee for the low, low price of 80 Microsoft Points.

Because, well, why the hell not. Unfortunately, you can't get any MLS gear aside from the the "rave green" home jersey of the Seattle Sounders, which was a limited time offer.

There was a New York Times story a while back that made waves in the MLS blogosphere. The story asserted that Newark got the short end of the urban development stick by building a minor league baseball stadium, while Harrison got it absolutely right with Red Bull Arena.

Ignoring the fact that the timelines don't really match up, as there's only a slim chance Newark actually had any choice in the matter, it looks like things didn't work out quite so well for Newark's neighbor on the other side of the Passaic, either.

Harrison, the gracious host of tomorrow's U.S.-Ecuador game, was newly crowned as the fourth most likely city to go bankrupt. The city's credit rating was downgraded to junk bond levels and has a $6 million budget gap. The city had plans to lay off 17 percent of its police and 29 percent of its firefighters to close the gap, prompting Deadspin to call Harrison "one of the poorest, most lawless places in America."

To add to Harrison's issues, in June Bloomberg reported Red Bull is challenging their taxable status, allegedly owning $1.4 million to the city in property taxes. Red Bull says the Harrison Redevelopment Agency owns the land and thus isn't on the hook for the property taxes involved.

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When a team is doing poorly, the blame usually falls on one prominent person - in (American) football it's the quarterback and in baseball it's the manager.  But in soccer it's not always quite so clear.  This season, the vitriol around the New York Red Bulls has been directed mainly at Erik Soler and Hans Backe.  Last Wednesday, it seemed as if every shortcoming of the Red Bulls suddenly became an afterthought as with one public critique of his teammates and in particular fan favorite Tim Ream, Rafa Marquez became the undisputed villain among Red Bull fans - all that's missing is a fake Twitter account. 

Here at Once a Metro, The Case Against Rafa Marquez summed up the anti-Rafa sentiment well: "...Marquez is representative of exactly what this team should not be: overpaid, lackadaisical, elitist."  A nationwide lightbulb went off as American soccer followers simultaneously realized why the Red Bulls have underperformed this season (Rafa Marquez).  Grant Wahl wondered how he could have predicted Marquez to be MLS Defender of the Year and concluded that bringing Marquez to New York was a "huge mistake," a true kiss of death from someone who witnessed first hand the disaster that was David Beckham's arrival with the L.A. Galaxy.       

Lost in much of the debate is how the fall of Rafa Marquez started long before his disparaging comments after a 3-1 loss to Real Salt Lake last week.  And it happened before Red Bull fans, who also followed the Gold Cup, noticed an enormous gap between his energy and level of play for his country and his lackadaisical performances for his club.  

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While it’s old news that the Red Bulls drew against the Vancouver Whitecaps, what fans might have is that Saturday’s draw, in probably the greatest irony in MLS history, pulled even with the Chicago Fire for most draws in a season with 15.

An almost certain cause for celebration.

In the context of American sports a draw is an odd thing. The cliché goes “winning cures all.” Rarely does anyone criticize a team that’s winning. Conversely, losing creates tension. It’s when the fans start booing (or, in our case, protesting), the media starts speculating and the locker room gets testy. It stands to reason, then, that draws should result in some kind of apathetic shrugging and pushes some kind of strange neutrality.

But not when you’re a Red Bulls fan in 2011. In fact, over the last five months we in the South Ward have been schooled in the many varieties of draw. Let’s take a look at some, shall we?

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The New York Red Bulls, a squad that was hailed by some (well, me) as the best starting XI in the history of MLS earlier this year, face a task that would have been unthinkable at the end of April: they have eight games left to save their season.

A team that smashed DC United in the swamp, battled to very creditable draws away to the Los Angeles Galaxy and Arsenal, and has scored the second-most goals in MLS is on the brink of not making the playoffs. Worse than that, there seems to be no cohesion in the team, few players with commitment or confidence, and no competition for places (particularly concerning in light of recent results) as a direct result of the manager's decisions.

Barring a turnaround that would be as shocking now as the descent from the halcyon days of spring to week upon week of disappointment in July and August would have been after the win over DC, New York will not make the playoffs. The New York Red Bulls of Thierry Henry, Rafael Márquez, Juan Agudelo, Tim Ream, and Joel Lindpere will not make the playoffs. The New York Red Bulls of three Designated Players and one of the highest payrolls in the league will not make the playoffs. The New York Red Bulls that had been a solid, defensively resilient, occasionally spectacular, difficult-to-beat side in 2010 have become the laughingstock of the league in 2011.

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