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Las Crónicas de Armando

What's our favorite Spanish center back up to?

Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Do you remember Armando? Of course you remember Armando!

He's still (supposedly) under contract with the New York Red Bulls, not in Florida with the team, and having the time of his life!

What's he been up to instead of stupid, boring training camp?

The Train Museum!

El tren no solo pasa una vez en la vida.

A photo posted by Armando Lozano (@armandolozano16) on

Rough translation: "The train doesn't come once in life."

Deep, man. Deep.

Rumors of Armando's agent trying to get him a guest spot on Thomas the Tank Engine & Friends are unconfirmed at this time.

Posing with furniture

Say what you will about his play on the field, but the man knows how to pose among a sea of chairs and benches.

He (possibly) ate some food


A photo posted by Armando Lozano (@armandolozano16) on

I've been told that food is one of the basic human needs [citation needed]. It's a good thing that Armando is (allegedly) eating food, let alone posing in front of a sign urging him to do so.

Posting in a most inspirational way

Quieres algo?Entonces ve,y haz que pase.

A photo posted by Armando Lozano (@armandolozano16) on

Less rough translation: "If you want something, then make it happen."

Is he quoting the lyrics to "Flashdance... What a Feeling"? If so, then I hope Armando takes his passion (modeling, playing soccer, posing with furniture, opening a coat factory) and makes it happen. Pictures come alive and you can dance right through your life.

Contemplating the weather

Parece que va nevar o es llover.

A photo posted by Armando Lozano (@armandolozano16) on

Rain or snow? Pancakes or waffles? Coke or Pepsi?

(The correct answers are snow, pancakes, and Coke.)

Giving away his boots

Armando is a man of the people. This is not the first fan contest he'll do, and it certainly won't be the last. Part-time soccer player, part-time model, part-time runner of contests, he is a modern day Renaissance man. Could a job with Publishers Clearing House be in his future? Anything is possible in this world that is truly Armando's oyster!



A photo posted by Armando Lozano (@armandolozano16) on

Is Armando finally free? Has he been cut loose from the restrictive chains that are his contract? Will he be able to chase his dreams? Armando is a butterfly, and we must appreciate his beauty while he is still ours. Some day he will fly away, and we'll be left with nothing but memories and old social media posts.

What's next for our hero?

A trip to a cupcake store? Buying a coat? Starting a riverboat gambling operation? Tune in next week for the newest installment of Las Crónicas de Armando.

What's next for Armando? Will you miss him if he leaves?