Predictions: D.C. United vs New York Red Bulls

Aaron Bauer: 2-1 Loss

Every time I predict the red bulls lose they don't lose. So keep not losing I guess. Or I'm an idiot because this is a coincidence. That's probably the case. We're going to lose.

Anthony Ali: 1-1 Draw

So far, I've been dead wrong with every prediction. Much like Aaron, every time I predict a loss, they don't lose. I'm going to go with a 1-1 draw and see what they do this time. Even though the Red Bulls are pretty hot and D.C. keeps squeezing out 1-0 wins, a road trip to RFK is never easy.

Austin Fido: 1-1 Draw

As we saw the last time these teams met, Perry Kitchen operates under the same cloak of invisibility Jermaine Jones was using during last year's playoffs. Jesse will be forced to deploy all three subs before half-time due to a puzzling epidemic of broken toes, and RBNY will limp out of RFK with a point. Kitchen will be presented with a humanitarian award by PRO after the match.

Frank Maduri: 2-1 Win

The team is on a roll. DC has not looked good in any match I have seen them play on MLS Live, so even though NYRB is on the road, I think they can outplay the United midfield. That high pressure system will be the key to keeping the thin NY defense from being truly tested. Sam is a tough matchup for United and BWP is always a scoring threat as well. I like our chances here.

Jason Iapicco: 2-0 Win

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JasonRBNY: 3-1 Win

This is Kemar "Taxi" Lawrence's moment. The Red Bulls left back was not even offered a contract by DC United last spring. On Saturday, he will be looking to retribute devastating, goal-laden payback against his former suitors. Happily, this revenge narrative dovetails nicely with the Red Bulls' aim to win the soccer match.

Let's Play FIFA: 2-0 Win

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Lester Townsend: 4-4 Draw

As I was driving to Taco Bell for my morning burrito, I saw 4 rabbits run across the road. The rabbits represent... something. But then I saw 4 cars driving the other way. These cars also represent something. What do all of these things represent? Something. I'm not sure what. Also, I desperately need to find a better place to get breakfast burritos.

Matt Coyne

No Prediction Given

Patrick MacDonald: 1-0 Win

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Robert Celentano: 2-2 Tie

With the Red Bull's schedule being decided by no other than Ben Olsen himself, DC look to capitalize on the mistakes they made last time around *cough Chris Pontius cough*. New York may have came away with a 2-0 win just a couple weeks ago, but DCU are coming off of a two game winning streak against LA and Orlando. DC will look to counter RBNY's fast-pace attack and score some goals on counters. I predict this game will end 2-2, most likely with DC scoring late to tie it up.

Shiloh Grayson: 2-1 Win

Remember when Cliff Burton tragically died and Metallica replaced him with Jason Newsted?  Or when Matt Sharp suddenly left Weezer and that other guy took over?  Or when Sabbath thought Ronnie James Dio could replace Ozzy?  Yeah, those replacements coincided with the bands' downfalls.  DC United will be missing Espindola and replacing him with Jairo Arrieta.  The new iterations are never as good as the original.  Therefore, NY takes this one: 2-1.

Steve Toto: 2-1 Win

Call me unoriginal, but I think it will go very similarly as the 3/22 game, but DC gets a goal based on the fact they are the home team.  The DaxSachaFelipe monster will continue to eat the DC midfield alive.  Sam will continue to be a problem for DC and BWP will find a seam to score.  The backline could be shaky just for the mere fact that RB have not played the same starting 4 in any game, so the continuity isn't there yet.

Truman: 3-1 Win

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