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Without further ado, your Major League Soccer team of the week!
36 goals scored this week will lead to the 3-4-3 formation being employed.
GK - Tyler Deric (Houston Dynamo) Not a good week to be a goalie, but Tyler Deric was able to shut out the defending champions. The 2005 Texas UIL 5A Boys Soccer Champion put in a yeomen's performance, carding 3 saves.
D - Laurent Ciman (Montreal Impact) The man in the back for your CONCACAF Champions League runners-up did more than hold his line, he Brian Leetched it by putting one in the cage as well. Montreal is a highly inconsistent team but Laurent does not waffle.
D - Chris Korb (D.C. United) Taking a very modernist approach to defense, Le Korbusier tallied 2 assists against a high flying Philadelphia Union team. While I am cautious about giving any random player credit for delivering a cross towards goal, breaking ankles to get space deserves kudos. And telestration.
D - Kendall Watson (Vancouver) By the looks of it, the Costa Rican defender hasn't let his squad's result in the Gold Cup get to him. A solid header from a corner kick gave the 'Caps all the insurance they needed. He strikes me as a player who can last 120 minutes, if need be.
M - Ethan Finlay (Columbus Crew SC) A goal and an assist, Finlay did more than his fair share for Columbus.
Talk about your Backheel Breakfast!
M - Kellyn Acosta (Dallas) Kellyn did three things in a single play that I was never able to achieve in my entire high school career: 1. Shake a defender out of his boots. 2. Do a fantastic curvy ball thing, defying physics as we know them. 3. Score.
M- Leonel Miranda (Houston) You have the right to remain silent. I see you, sitting with mouth agape. The camera angle has you expecting a goal kick and yet it goes in.
If I were British I'd declare the attempt as 'cheeky'.
M - Ignacio Piatti (Montreal) I have a bowling ball that I use for the company league. For some reason I named said bowling ball "Ignatius". Its duty is to intimidate and knock over pins. In this instance, Erik Friberg (Seattle Sounders) is a pin.
F - Sebastian Giovinco (Toronto FC) I know, sounds like an uninspired pick. Wrought out of European Footballer Worship.
Dude actually did a good soccer action.
F - David Villa (NYCFC) Who?
F - Cyle Larin (Orlando) U! C! O! N! N! UConn! UConn! UConn! For the uninitiated, Cyle (Pronounced Kyle) is Ontario's best export since Jim Carrey. Goals are a byproduct of his existence. OH! Look! Another goal!
Honorable Mention - Sprinklers.
Only thing that slowed Houston down.