New York Red Bulls confirmed FIFA 17 ratings: Just as you’d expect

As the calendar crawls to late September, the weather around New York City and its neighboring geography refuses to quit summer mode while the imperious dynasty that is Christmas time continues its manifest destiny, looming in the shadows implicitly waiting to pounce into the forefront of our minds. It has already annexed most of November and is creeping towards October. Before we know it, it’ll have a military base on October 1st aiming directly at the September mainland.

Oh, more importantly, the newest edition of FIFA is mobilized, prepared for launch.

With the official release of the ratings, something EA Sports has shrewdly been making more and more of a big deal about, comes the furor and anticipation for the game.

Without fail, ratings are digested, regurgitated and discussed. Comparisons to last year are made as the time is filled before actually getting to play the game.

There are a few things that stick out when perusing FIFA’s annual ratings and working into a fuss, parsing a few attribute points here and there:

1. We’ll always be biased towards our favorite teams and players. Always. There’s just no two ways about it.
2. It’s a fun discussion point. An entity is quantifying how good (or bad) all top level professionals in the world, it’s easy to argue.
3. But it’s largely frivolous. But we take it hella seriously anyway. #Sports! #Games!

For those well versed in Ultimate Team jargon, the New York Red Bulls have zero players with gold cards— doughnut hole. (In layman FIFA terms, no players rated 75 or above.)

The good news about that for Ultimate Team aficionado’s, a silver 74 is much more valuable than a gold 75. Using Red Bulls players, you can form the nucleus of a strong silver side, capped at players rated 74 or under.

As one would imagine, the Red Bulls’ highest rated players are Sacha Kljestan, Dax McCarty, Bradley Wright-Phillips and Luis Robles.

First off, Dax McCarty being grouped with the ‘attackers’ is, simply, wrong. But I’m all for “Jr.” as Derrick Etienne Jr.’s new moniker.

Just. Look. At. Veron’s. Pace.

Can’t do anything but respect Perrinelle’s L’bowl cut.

A few general thoughts.

• Kljestan’s passing is much better than that.
• Wright-Phillip’s finishing is better than that, as is his pace.
• Davis’ everything is better than that. Plus, attacking mid?
• Veron will continue to be one of those players whose FIFA version is superior to his real life version thanks to his pace and dribbling.
• You’ve got to respect that Etienne pace.
• I can’t wait to learn about Royer as a player through FIFA and pretend like I watched him a million times in Denmark.
• A ‘59’ pace for Collin should be FIFA’s tax write-off for charity work.
• Grella’s dribbling! C’mon fam! Watch an MLS highlight video!
• Are we still holding to the notion of Shaun Wright-Phillips better than, well, anyone on the Red Bulls?

Whilst the team may not boast the FIFA-rating-inflated elders of the MLS like Frank Lampard, Steven Gerrard, Andrea Pirlo or others, this virtual New York Red Bulls side will mirror their real life image: a good team.

Ergo, do your best to avoid taking a two-goal lead with the Red Bulls or be ready for thorough disappointment when the opposition inevitably fights back for a draw.