By that logic, all knockoff products are as good as their originals and should be praised just like the well-made products they are imitating.
I'm sorry, we are all a little tense here at Once a Metro about today's match, but extolling the one thing that makes Chicago inferior to New York is not going to help anyone, or deliver more match-related content.
Chicago and New York are two amazing cities in the United States, but New York has cultural touchstone that Chicago cannot touch: making good pizza that can be bought in slice form.
New York-style pizza allows the consumer flexibility to adapt to his environment, and in the fast-pace ever-changing world of 2015 that is the biggest strength of our pizza. You can be piss-drunk at 3 am and not be able to form coherent sentences, but all you need to do is walk into a pizza-joint hold up one finger, plop down $2.00 on a counter and you have saved yourself from alcohol poisoning and can eat that delicious slice of heaven as you stagger into the night.
To eat deep-dish pizza you have to go into a restaurant, sit around and wait while the dang thing bakes, look at your sweater a few times awkwardly because the waiter hasn't returned with your food yet, and then finally you and your family can cut up that casserole and start eating it.
New York-style pizza is good at all hours of the day, can be bought by the pie or slice, and does wonders for your health. These are all facts.
I hope the Red Bulls act like their pizza counterparts and "slice" up the Chicago fire deep-dish defense. I will see myself out, now.
"Fast and the Furious is better than Back to the Future," says Rob Usry who wants to be part of the debate.