Welcome to the New York Red Bulls Paper Revue presented by Once a Metro.
I’m not a good person. I’m a great person!
Here’s this week’s top story.
In light of rumors about the health of Dietrich Mateschitz, German outlet Focus is speculating on the future of Red Bull. The succession question becomes more important as the company has grown to a multi-platformed behemoth stretching across the globe in a variety of fields. The sporting enterprises are described as “not investments” but “advertising media that mostly cause losses.”
The presumed successor is Mark, son of Dietrich, although 51% of the company belongs to the Yoovidhya family, which could throw a wrench into any proceedings. This is, of course, a bit of a gauche conversation considering there has been no real news reported on the situation. Whatever happens will happen, and it’s probably best to avoid thinking too deeply about any of this.
An unnamed current-or-former New York Red Bulls player is set to head to trial for kicking a ball into a crowd. In an article about recent sideline friction featuring Oakland Raiders wide receiver Davante Adams and a photographer, there is a small detail that may interest soccer fans. According to Kansas City-based attorney Michael DiPasquale of the DiPasquale Moore Law Firm, he has a “lawsuit pending and set to go to trial in April.”
I wonder which one it could be. “In anger after a game, [he] kicked the ball at full speed into the stands and severely injured a client of ours,” DiPasquale told Kansas City’s KCTV 5. “So, I’ve seen this unfortunately play out in this city before obviously in another sport.”
Based on the lawyer being based in Kansas City, I think we could rule out the time the Red Bulls player kicked a ball into the stands roughly ten years ago and narrowly missed hitting a fan. We can also probably ignore that recent one due to the laborious pace of the American legal system. That leaves one situation, although I don’t think we can or should assume.
As you can tell, I’m writing this to avoid being sued but am also an idiot.
Steven Sserwadda is off on international duty or was at least named to the 29-player provisional squad for some upcoming matches. The Uganda U-23 Men’s National Team, also known as The Kobs, are set to take on Guinea in a two-legged series, with the fixtures scheduled for October 20th and 27th. The victor earns a spot in the third round and is one step closer to the 2023 Africa U-23 Cup of Nations, set for next June in Morocco.
Sserwadda began the season with the reserve team in the USL Championship and was promoted to the MLS squad in July. He made three total appearances but was not on the bench for the recent playoff match against FC Cincinnati. The 20-year-old midfielder is probably in line for more minutes, although maybe not! That’s the nature of the sport.
Breiðablik fell to Knattspyrnufélag Reykjavíkur, 1-0, in Besta deild karla action. On-loan attacker Omar Sowe was on the bench but failed to make an appearance. However, who gives a care because Blikar already won the league! The club registered their second top-division title since being established in 1950 and qualified for the next edition of the Champions League.
They celebrated in the best possible way…by watching an opponent fail to secure the necessary number of points on television.
Jesse Marsch is having a great time. He can’t stop laughing and feels so loved right now. Leeds United is probably going to be in a relegation battle, but that doesn’t stop the Wisconsin Winner!
“The support I have internally in this club is better than anywhere I’ve ever been in my life,” said Jesse Pressy. “When you lose, questions arise – that’s normal from you guys (in the media), from fans, and I accept that. And it’s my responsibility to make sure we lose as little as possible and my goal is to never lose. (But) I’m not afraid of that. I accept that responsibility. I’m here to do the job and I believe that I’m the man for the job. But I’m doing it with my staff, with my team, with the leaders in this club with my ownership. We’re together and I feel incredibly supported.”
Shots fired at New York, Salzburg, and Leipzig. I’m kidding. I’m sure Leeds has provided him more support than any of the previous stops and the fans are the best in the world, which certainly won’t be paraphrased and reused again at his next job.
Kidding, kidding, of course, but coach-speak is hilarious.
Someone has nice things to say about Gerhard Struber. Former Barnsley midfielder Dominik Frieser went out of his way to praise his old manager. He touched on their brief time together in an interview with Bundesliga.at.
“My first coach at Barnsley, who also brought me to the island,” said Frieser. “So, I owe him a lot. Unfortunately, I only had him three laps before he moved on (note: to the New York Red Bulls). Before that we only knew each other as opponents, he was a coach at WAC, I was a player at LASK. (laughs) Then he must have realized that I could fit quite well into his pressing system.”
After leaving Barnsley but before returning to TSV Hartberg, Frieser signed a curious deal with Cesena in Italy’s Serie C, teaming up with former Red Bulls goalkeeper Luca Lewis. In case you’re wondering how that guy’s doing, the 21-year-old has made four league and cup appearances this season but appears to have dropped into a back-up role. Eh, but he’s young and people at that position tend to peak a little later in their careers.
There was a fire on the 35th floor of the Cantagirone Tre Piú building in Medellín, Colombia. Three firetrucks responded to the blaze, occurring in the penthouse owned by none other than Juan Pablo Ángel, although El Colombiano claims this investment is instead a rental property. According to local news, there are “no injuries, only material losses.”
Everything appears to be fine. The only remaining heat is emanating from those social media thirst traps Ángel insists on posting. Nothing makes me feel like a fatter piece of garbage than looking at his Twitter page.
Of course it’s all …!— Juan Pablo Angel (@JUANPABLOANGEL) September 2, 2022
Here’s a joke that was submitted by Luisa of Manalapan.
“Ángel never had any trouble dealing with the Fire.”
Thank you, Luisa. That’s very true. He was incredibly productive against Chicago with seven goals in 14 matches.
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