Welcome to the New York Red Bulls Paper Revue presented by Once a Metro.
I read a highly-upvoted comment on Reddit [I know, I know.] that stated there are many valid ways to watch a movie. You don’t even have to watch the movie! You can read the synopsis on Wikipedia or view one of those recaps on YouTube. Who are you to police how others watch movies, you meanie gatekeeper?
I’m policing it – me. Unless you watched a movie, you didn’t watch a movie. I am standing firm on this because it’s a pretty clear “is/is not” sort of deal, and I can’t believe we have to actually have this discussion.
Here’s this week’s top story.
Well, do you want to hear a story?
Fábio Gomes has struggled in his return to Brazil, first signing a big deal with Atlético Mineiro and then being sent on loan to Vasco da Gama in the Campeonato Brasileiro Série B. With the second club, he had… scored zero goals in six appearances and played a total of 141 minutes. The towering striker is appearing to be shown the door at the temporary home and also unwelcome at the parent outfit, although his very long-term contract may be difficult to unload.
The New York Red Bulls may be a suitor. According to Torcedores, Atlético Mineiro, which purchased 50% of his rights from Oeste for $1.5 million, is “evaluating the modality of an agreement proposed by the team that competes in Major League Soccer.” The club is said to want a “loan with an option to buy the economic rights without a fixed value.”
Do I think Fábio is coming back? I appreciate you asking. My answer is a clear “maybe.”
On the other hand, there may have been a very recent change in his fortunes. Fábio earned a surprise start against Criciúma Esporte Clube and scored the match-winning goal in a 2-1 victory. Just look at the big striker leap up to win that header.
O GOL DA VIRADA! O GOL DA VITÓRIA!— Vasco da Gama (@VascodaGama) October 22, 2022
Maybe he could return to New York and do that every week.
Fußballclub Gelsenkirchen-Schalke 04 e. V., better known as Schalke, is looking for a manager.
The German club pulled off the relegation-promotion flippity-flop after a single season in the second division. Franz Kramer was hired in June but fired last week after a 5-1 loss to Hoffenheim in the DFB-Pokal. With six points and one victory from 11 Bundesliga matches, bottom-of-the-table Schalke may need a candidate who has experience in being backed against the wall.
Schalke has cycled through managers over the past few years. The six-time German champions and lapsed European regulars are stuck in a bind of expectations fueled by old glories failing to match the reality of current performances, a bit like University of Nebraska football. Where, oh where, could Die Königsblauen (The Royal Blues) their next great hope?
Former VfL Bochum coach Thomas Reis, let go in September, is considered the presumptive favorite. Talks were said to be “in the final stages,” according to Bild-TV, with the introduction set for “Monday afternoon.” However, Waz claims that the manager is “still under contract” and there is yet to be definitive movement. Sport1 suggests “indications” that he will take over, however the “supervisory board” is skeptical and is hoping to “look into alternatives.”
Supporters naturally have a few ideas, with message board and social media commenters spreading WhatsApp gossip from a supposed source in the know. According to poster “BlauerKumpel” (“Blue Buddy”) on Transfermarkt, he heard it from a friend who heard it from a friend that the club has zeroed in on “someone who won’t come from Europe.” Unfortunately, as is always the case, the name of the mystery party cannot be revealed and must remain private.
I imagine that Reis will be announced very soon, possibly before this is even published, but, hey, maybe something else happens.
Poland Men’s National Team manager Czesław Michniewicz named his preliminary squad for the upcoming World Cup in Qatar. The 47-player group will be whittled down the 23 or 26 before the competition begins. As expected, Patryk Klimala failed to make the cut, although the manager appeared to have given the striker every potential opportunity to prove his case.
Hey, you know, there’s always 2026.
Breiðablik clinched the Icelandic league title, but next season’s moves are already on the docket. According to manager Óskar Hrafn Þorvaldsson, the club will be sending Omar Sowe back to the Red Bulls. The on-loan attacker is described by DV as having a “secondary role” during the season. The 21-year-old made 18 total appearances, contributing three goals and two assists. His tenure was disrupted by an injury and a suspension, which resulted in not appearing in seven of the last eight matches.
A former Red Bull may be in line for a big role.
Former Spain national team midfielder Albert Celades is connected to the manager position at Chivas. His potential hiring has caused a firestorm of rumors and stories in Mexican media. He is refusing to comment, telling ESPN, “I’m sorry I can’t help you.”
Celades previously worked for a variety of Spanish youth national teams before taking over Valencia in September of 2019. His reign lasted through the rest of the season and no longer, as the club is a bit here-and-there at the moment. Perhaps a return to the Western Hemisphere is all the magic that is needed.
Celades played one season for the Red Bulls, playing during that magical 2009 season that saw the club be absolutely terrible.
Honey, you remember Marc Rzatkowski, right?
The German midfielder played for the Red Bulls from 2018 through 2020, joining the club from Salzburg. He made quite a few appearances and scored a wonder-goal here and there. After departing MLS, Rzatkowski went to Schalke of all places and played a small role in earning promotion back to the Bundesliga.
Now he’s at Arminia Bielefeld, looking to return another club back to the promised land, however, New York is always on his mind. “Before, I only knew the city from a few films, but I could always imagine doing something extraordinary,” said Rzatkowski. “I had an apartment there right on the Hudson River, so in a very cool location. For me it was incredible. I love the city.”
The Big Apple isn’t for everyone, of course. “With New York City, there is no middle ground,” he shared with Ronald McDonald’s favorite newspaper, Hamburger Abendblatt. “Either you love the city or there is just too much hustle and bustle for you. But over time I learned that even in the supposedly most beautiful city and in the best apartment, I wouldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t have my family and friends around me. It’s not enough for me to see [them] three times a year.”
I’m unable to relate to his comments because my sister lives in New York. thus I would rather work in Death Valley than be near that city.
If you find yourself in Sweden next month, consider flipping on the television. Headlining TV4’s and C More’s coverage of the World Cup is none other than former manager Hans Backe. He will be serving as an “expert commentator.”
Sometimes the media gets it wrong.
According to former French international Sidney Govou, he was portrayed as a bit of a sot and hard partier, when the reality was anything but. He even received the nickname “Whiskey-Coca,” which appears a bit unfair. There is even a former Red Bull, his former Lyon teammate, in the mix.
“At the time, I didn’t like whiskey!” Govou told After Foot. “I have changed, with age we like good things. People thought we often went out with Peguy Luyindula when it was totally wrong. Peguy was quite a homebody. We went out two or three times together. This nickname came from a journalist who had made the rave with us after the first title. It was funny at first. You take it as a joke when you’re young. With experience, I would have said ‘stop.’”
As Mark Twain said, “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is still putting on its shoes.” Except he didn’t say that. See? Kind of proves the point.
Here’s a joke that was submitted by Marguerite of Robbinsville.
“Peguy Luyindula is a homebody and a homme-body.”
Thank you, Marguerite. I admire your bilingual wordplay.
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