Red Bulls Paper Revue: June 20, 2022

Welcome to the Red Bulls Paper Revue presented by Once a Metro.

There’s nothing better than New York in the summer. What can beat the intoxicating musk of rancid seawater and rotting sewage? Could a city have more buildings and somehow less shade? How wonderful that the once-glorious Theater DIstrict is inundated with a cacophony of musical revivals and cheap film adaptations! The Big Apple is truly a marvel.

Here’s this week’s top story.

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You probably heard this by now, but how about that rumor of Fábio Gomes coming back to the Red Bulls?

The always-bookmarked Wilson Pimentel of Torcedores reports that the Atlético Mineiro striker “should be traded in the next transfer window.” The club’s sporting director has “given up trying to keep [him].” The 25-year-old has “failed to develop as an alternative to Hulk.” However, his personality is beyond reproach, being “extremely punctual with schedules, faithfully fulfilling [the] routine of gym activities, and dedicated in training,” during which Fábio is described as an outstanding “lion.”

On-field performance is what matters and his performance has been subpar (which you would know as a frequent reader of the Paper Revue). Would the Red Bulls bring him back? That’s a great question for someone other than me.

And thankfully, Torcedores provided an answer. Charlotte FC is the main MLS side in pursuit, hoping for a loan-to-buy deal with talks ongoing. Two additional clubs are also in contact, but their names are “kept confidential” because the transfer market and celebrity blind items have the same plot points. Of course, the Red Bulls are reportedly interested in him for the right place, which appears to fall short of Atlético Mineiro’s valuation.

Perhaps there will be fan protests in Harrison demanding his return.

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A player based in Austria is connected to Major League Soccer and, by law, well… let’s get down to it, boppers.

Kronen Zeitung reports that Amadou Dante has interest from the United States. The 21-year-old Malian left back competes with Sturm Graz in the Austrian Bundesliga, making 41 total appearances last season. He is under contract through 2024 and would likely require a significant fee.

“Yes, a club from the USA asked,” said sporting director Andreas Schicker. “But I have to talk to Amadou about it first. He has to want to, [and] everything has to be right for us.”

Dante recently made his senior debut with the Mali national team. He started and played 180 minutes in consecutive matches against the Republic of the Congo and South Sudan. His fantastic play has reportedly inspired interest from a variety of suitors.

The obvious logic is that if a player is Austrian or based in the Österreich, New York is a likely caller. His statistical profile is somewhat of a fit for the club, although the attacking numbers leave a lot to be desired. However, the sport is played on the field and not a spreadsheet.

If the Red Bulls sign Dante, then they’ll also have to acquire a right back named Randal.

(H/t MostlyBullNY on Twitter who had it first.)

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The match against Charlotte FC is one to forget for the Red Bulls, but it was also a homecoming for assistant coach Troy Lesesne. The South Carolina native, graduate of the College of Charleston, and former Charleston Battery player was profiled by local outlet WLTX 19. He even “ran into a few friends” at Bank of America Stadium.

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Red Bull Bragantino fans are unhappy with their current goalkeeping situation. Naturally, some are clamoring for the acquisition of Carlos Coronel, demanding that the synergy syringe inject the club with a Brazilian of proven quality. While meaningless, I thought it was interesting to see a New York player as the subject of such desires, usually expressed in a different direction on the organizational flowchart.

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The Venezuela U-23 (or U-21, depending where you look) Men’s National Team claimed second place at the 2022 Toulon Tournament. La Vinotinto (The Red Wine) fell in the final, 2-1, to the hosting France U-20 squad. The semifinal was a thrilling shootout victory over the Colombia U19s.

Red Bulls midfielder Jesús Castellano was an unused substitute for both knockout round matches, appearing for 53 minutes in the final group stage fixture.

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The Maccabi Haifa U-19 squad closed out the American tour against a team from the New York Red Bulls academy. The Greens won 2-0 during a “thrilling afternoon” at the New Jersey Institute of Technology. There were also previous friendlies against the Philadelphia Union and St. Benedict’s Prep, but I’m sure you don’t care about those.

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Kaku may be nearing a return to the field, but his future destination may be elsewhere. After recovering from a cruciate ligament rupture, Al-Taawoun elected to keep the midfield maestro on ice until next season. If the Cooperation is relegated from the Saudi Pro League, he will likely be given a pink slip. Al-Swsat reports that the club needs “at least four points” in the next two matches, which is quite the daunting task in the tightly packed 16-team, three-relegation-spot table where a mere six points separate sixth place from 15th.

Maybe a return to New York would be in the ca-... I can’t do it anymore.

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You think Andy Roxburgh would quit the soccer world? You must be joking. The former Red Bulls sporting director and unheralded architect of pretty much anything successful that happened over the past decade is going to keep rolling at the age of 78 years young. “I’ll keep on going until they hold up my number,” said the Technical Director of the Asian Football Confederation while standing on top of a cop car and smashing the lights with a bat.

Here’s a joke that was submitted by Kitty of Cliffside Park.

“I’d hold up a number to rate my husband, but the judges’ cards never go into the negatives.”

Thank you, Kitty. I’m sure you’re joking.

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