City Beats--everyone’s favorite sunglasses wearing New York City FC horn and drum ensemble--thought they could brush up on their technique and song repertoire. So it was a no-brainer to take lessons at New York’s famed Shaffer Conservatory. However, the group was stunned when notorious conductor Terence Fletcher walked into the rehearsal space.

And now the infamously tough and abusive instructor has been arrested on charges of felonious assault after he has hospitalized Chet Walker, City Beats’ beloved snare drum player.  The Whiplash instructor was released on $5,000 bond.

According to police reports, Fletcher had enough of Walker’s constant dragging on Hank Levy’s jazz classic "Chain Reaction."

After twelve hours of through-the-night practicing, Walker began crying, which set Fletcher off the handle, per an anonymous police source.

It is reported that Fletcher approached the visibly distraught Walker, leaned over and yelled, "We will stay here as long it takes, until this atrocious, gimmick group virtuoso can play on time!"

When Walker then indicated he was quitting the band, the source says Fletcher went "ballistic."

Per the source, Fetcher is then alleged to have tackled Walker to the floor, restraining him and continuing to berate him. Fletcher paused and then screamed at the young drummer, "If you deliberately sabotage my band, I will schtup you like the mule you are."

Fletcher then took another City Beats’ player’s congo drum and violently bashed Walker over his head with it, knocking the 24-year old unconscious.  The police were called and Fletcher was arrested on the scene.

Walker was admitted to Jacoby Medical Center and is listed in critical condition.  It is unknown if he will continue to appear with the City Beats at Yankee Stadium.

Fletcher must return to court on June 8.

(this might be parody)