New York Red Bulls fans want Shaun Wright-Phillips on a non-DP salary

In case you haven't heard the latest news, Shaun Wright-Phillips is still "training" with the New York Red Bulls in order to maintain "fitness." It's not a trial despite the player being here for weeks and his agent also coincidentally being in town.

(It's a trial. They're negotiating over salary. They weren't remotely close, but if both sides are still talking, then obviously there is continued mutual interest.)

But what about the fans? They're the ones who matter most in this whole situation because they'll be the ones who live and die based on the outcome of this signing. And I -- being the Harvard, M.I.T., and Stanford educated scientist that I am (call me, ladies) -- decided to do a super scientific study polling Red Bulls fans to see how they feel about the potential signing of Shaun Wright-Phillips.

SCIENTIFIC FAN POLL (1) Shaun Wright-Phillips, yes or no? (2) If yes, DP contract or no? (3) Potato salad, macaroni salad, or cole slaw?
— Once A Metro (@Once_A_Metro) June 30, 2025

After receiving some responses, I compiled the results and put them on some fancy looking pie charts. (Mmm... pie.)

So, as you can see, Red Bulls fans definitely want to see Shaun Wright-Phillips in a New York Red Bulls jersey. But at what cost?

Obviously this is a small sample size (based off responses to a question put out on Twitter), but it's still interesting to see that most respondents want him, just not at a high price. Will the 33-year-old winger be willing to sign at a discount? It remains to be seen.

But... but... but what if there's a picnic lunch where fans get to meet a newly signed Shaun Wright-Phillips and there's a choice of coleslaw, potato salad, and macaroni salad? What are the fans eating?

If I've said it once, I've said it a hundred times: it is not a debate about the team that will tear this fan base apart, but our food preferences.

CONCLUSIONS

Jesse Marsch and Ali Curtis will have the support of the majority of fans if they sign Shaun Wright-Phillips to a non-DP contract.
The 15% of respondents who said they don't like coleslaw, macaroni salad, nor potato salad need to rethink their lives.
This was really stupid.

Do you want the Red Bulls to sign Shaun Wright-Phillips and does he warrant a DP contract? What are your feelings on potato salad, coleslaw, and macaroni salad?