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Watch: Derrick Etienne's first goal for UVA

Oh. My.

Rob Kinnan-USA TODAY Sports

New York Red Bulls' academy prospect Derrick Etienne has started his college soccer career with the University of Virginia. If RBNY fans were hoping he might glide through the NCAA season unnoticed, shielded from the prying eyes of scouts for rival clubs until the Red Bulls get the chance to hand him the pro contract that is surely his whenever he decides he wants it - things aren't going to work out that way.

Etienne scored his first goal for UVA, and now he's a local news soccer sensation. ABC's coverage comes with a numbered guide to the number of defenders Etienne beat to score (spoiler: it's six):

The NBC affiliate hasn't quite got to grips with the player's name:

UVA meanwhile gave its first airing to its Etienne goal celebration image:

Congrats, Derrick. Here's hoping you glide through college with similar grace and dexterity, and land safely back at RBNY when you're ready.