I'm sure you're all shocked that New England Revolution midfielder/UFC fighter Jermaine Jones was given a red card in a playoff game. If you watched last year's Eastern Conference Final, you'd be under the impression that he has carte blanche to harm anyone he wants on the field and get away with it.

But apparently, not so! Try to injure all of the New York Red Bulls you want, Jermaine! We don't care!

But don't you dare touch a ref or else...

Should that have been a handball? Yes. Should Jermaine Jones have received a red card for touching the ref? Yes.

DID JERMAINE JONES GET AWAY WITH WORSE DURING LAST YEAR'S EASTERN CONFERENCE SEMIFINALS? I DON'T KNOW, YOU TELL ME!

Will the Red Bulls be retroactively awarded the 2014 Eastern Conference Championship? No.

Am I angry to the point of my writing being limited to asking repetitive, obvious questions? Yes.

I guess that protection for star players finally ran out, right, Don Garber?

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I'm glad MLS referees finally have the stones to show that sweetie Jermaine Jones a red card in the playoffs. It only took him trying to hurt one of your own instead of multiple New York Red Bulls players. What a fantastic consolation for last season. Go f*ck yourselves, MLS referees and anyone who let him get away with this crap for so long.

I hope the rest of you have a lovely Thursday.