When the New York Red Bulls beat Chelsea, 4-2, in a mid-summer friendly of no great consequence to either team, I got an email from a friend in Australia: "Did your C team just beat Chelsea?" Sort of, is the answer. RBNY doesn't have a C team: just the first team in MLS and the reserve team in USL, NYRB II. The rest is all part of the academy structure in one way or another.
Still, Chelsea basically got beat by a group unknown to many Red Bulls fans, let alone someone in Australia whose knowledge of the team is mostly gleaned from the delirious rantings of a friend. Perhaps this is why Jose Mourinho reportedly branded the RBNY squad that thumped his Blues a "Mickey Mouse team".
Jose is a little glum at the moment, with Chelsea struggling in the early stages of its Premier League season. He's trying whatever he can to get his players fired up - though reports suggest the "Mickey Mouse" comments didn't have quite the desired effect. Maybe this is because Chelsea's players know they weren't beaten by Mickey Mouse, they were beaten by RalfBall: RBNY's globally instituted gegenpressing style, as interpreted by head coach Jesse Marsch and NYRB II's coach John Wolyniec.
You got beaten by a team with more energy and a very clear tactical plan, Jose. We can't help with the tactics, but an enterprising Redditor, IAmZeDoctor has picked up a suggestion made by fellow Redditor thebrickgrinder, and set up an Indiegogo campaign to get Mourinho what he needs: a box of Red Bull.
It will be both the pick-me-up he and his players are hoping for right now, and a helpful way to ensure he doesn't get confused about the team that walloped Chelsea in the summer. Red Bull, Jose. Red Bull and RalfBall and Tyler Adams and Franklin Castellanos and Sean Davis: that is who beat you.
Help IAmZeDoctor meet his modest fund-raising goal and help Jose Mourinho give his 2015/16 Premier League season wings.
Details of the Indiegogo campaign are here.