The New York Red Bulls travel to the Philadelphia Union in Week 22 of the MLS 2015 regular season. Do we want to beat the Philth? Surely: we want RBNY to beat every team it plays. Is there perhaps a little extra desire to see the Union bested after the stumbling, bumbling, self-inflicted humbling the Red Bulls suffered against Philly in US Open Cup? Yes, it would be nice not to lose to the Union for the third time this season (you will recall RBNY's first home loss of MLS 2015 was to Philly).
But we must also acknowledge that our feelings for the Union extend beyond the standard cycle of we-want-to-beat-you-cos-you-beat-us-last-time. There is a deeper emotion that binds us to Philadelphia, one that marks the relationship between RBNY and the Union as unique.
No, stop it: not rivalry. We hate DC. New England is increasingly irksome. NYC FC won't shut up and is making our head hurt. We'd like to see RBNY challenge LA's dominance of MLS more effectively. But for Philly, we reserve a different feeling: pity.
You've had a rough ride, Union fans - much of it driven by a guy fans of this club know all too well. We feel for you, particularly on the subject of your management's remarkable fondness for changing goalkeepers. You seem to have had a great many since you started being a team in 2010.
Philadelphia Union: Know that we want you to lose every time you play RBNY, but also that we see your suffering and it brings us no joy. Please accept the following tribute as a token of our deep and respectful sympathy for the continuing plight of the Union, its fans, and - most of all - its goalkeepers.